89 Day Challenge Day 24

Today is my rest day - which is great as Tuesday nights are my late night.  Also with  the freezing cold weather we are experiencing in Auckland at the moment, I am glad to be able to stay in the warmth a little bit longer.

Yesterday was another food shocker - why do I do it!

This is something I need to really look within to see why I can't find the success again of previous attempts.

I do want to loose weight

I do want to be under 100 kg (Lowest 102kg a year ago)

I love the control of eating well and getting the results on the scales

BUT

Why do I continue to eat junk food!

Why am I not giving it my all at the gym making sure that I am feeling like a work out has just happened

Why do I think I am not worth it!

Lately with our dance trainings, different  people have been recording the routine and then we all get to view it to check out timings and make sure that we are all hitting the beats at the same time.

I hate looking at it because what I see in my mind of my body is nothing like what I view on the recording of me and it depresses me!

I guess I view myself on what I can see when I look down and that is a "frontal view",  but that is definitely not what I see when I see a recorded version of myself and this then makes me  think is that how people see me????

Am I really that big, that round?!

I have so much sorting out in my mind to do and somethimes that feels so overwhelming that I just give yup and have the chocolate!

But I will continue to look within to sort the outside and come to a happy resting place